Originally written and published by Dr. Berstien in the summer of 2016.
Two years ago I wrote a blog about making the transition from doctor to dad after my son was born. Recently the company that runs our online presence re-posted it. Many patients were congratulating me on the birth of my son! Well, I started to feel guilty that I had not written a blog about having had a second child. You know, the second kid never gets as much attention as the first.
Let’s start this adventure back in the Summer of 2015. Our son Ollie was about to be a year old. We decided to get going with trying for number two; after all, we are in our mid-late 30s so figured “why not?”. Well, we were blessed that it happened pretty quickly. With our first pregnancy, my wife had ZERO symptoms for the first couple of months. In fact, we embarrassingly did not find out we were pregnant until like 8 weeks. This time, there was no mistaking. My wife was sick at about 5-6 weeks along. Of course, she immediately said, “It must be a girl.” I then directed her to my previous blog that pretty much debunked this myth, but she was hearing none of it… because, as you know, pregnant wives are always right. After our nifty little genetics test at 10 weeks, we indeed found out she was right and were expected a little girl.
Well the sickness lasted until 16-17 weeks this time. We figured she would be cruising along until the end now. Um… not so much. Remember those epic naps you got with pregnancy number one? Try taking those when you have toddler. They don’t exist, and thus fatigue is MUCH worse with pregnancy number two. Then the aches and pains start. Before baby number 1 all the ligaments and muscles that hold up your uterus are strong and tight. Baby number 1 stretches these and so the following things happen:
- You show WAY earlier and are forced to get those maternity jeans on weeks before you had to with the first pregnancy.
- You have more Braxton Hicks contractions.
- You will become obsessed with how low you are carrying the baby this time. In fact you may tell your loved ones and friends that the baby may simply just fall out of your vagina at any moment
Fast forward a bit… the labor and delivery process was thankfully uneventful again and baby Milana (we call her “Mila”) joined us on April 29, 2016. At the advice of my friends, family, and patients I bought Ollie an amazing gift “from Mila” for when he came to join us at the hospital. This was an #epicfail as he preferred playing with the curtain in the room over enjoying his new life-size talking Elmo doll. That being said, he loves his sister, and ever since that day gets very happy to see her.
So now to the main point of this blog, 1+1≠2. Two kids is WAAAAAAAAAAAAY more work that one, especially when that one is a toddler now. With one, I feel that we tried to hold onto our pre-baby lifestyle as much as we could. We both work full time. After work, with just one kid we would often take turns with “kid duty”. One of would work out or get errands done or heaven forbid just relax! With two kids, we have had to markedly limit the pre-baby lifestyle diversions… at least until they are both asleep. We are playing straight up man-to-man defense from the second we are all home. And for some reason getting both kids fed, bathed, and asleep seems like way more double the work than before.
I have realized two things now that we have had Mila for 6 months. The toughest job in the world has to be a stay-at-home parent when your kids are not in school. I love my children and have a ball with them, but a full day at home, by myself with both of them is EXHAUSTING. And lastly, I am super impressed by parents of bigger families. I just don’t know how you keep it all together. You are officially superhuman.
Enjoy the pics below.